


The Genius’ Mind

by whOre4Reid34



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Autistic Spencer Reid, F/M, Spencer Reid is a Little Shit, but we love him, cute little spence smiles at y/n, slow burn but denial, spencer being himself, will for sure get together tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-15 10:02:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29312286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whOre4Reid34/pseuds/whOre4Reid34
Summary: Y/N is always stuck with him, whether it be a car ride to an assignment, a ride to the hotel, or a relief buddy for a case. She just wishes that it could be anyone else until something happens that changes both of their minds. Watch as they find things in common with one another, maybe even fall in love in this romance between Y/N L/N and Spencer Reid.
Relationships: Spencer Reid & Female Reader, Spencer Reid & You, Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 36
Kudos: 48





	1. "Murder and McDonald's"

You stepped out of the car with a huff, slamming the door behind you. 

Rossi gave you a look that you knew all too well, but you ignored him as you stepped into the apartment building that was now closed off to the public, the caution tape flowing in the light breeze.

You and the rest of the BAU profiling team had arrived in New York last night after getting wind of the newest, and most violent, Manhattan case.

The smell of dried blood and gunpowder filled your nose, and you quickly put an arm across your face when you saw the first body.

“22-year-old Marcia Hammond was working here as a secretary. She was newer to the job, and she was working late the night that she was murdered. She suffered some slight trauma to the head and a fatal gunshot wound to the back, no signs of strangulation and no resistance wounds were found on the victim’s body,” Morgan explained as you took a step closer, grimacing at the sight of her blood-soaked vest where a hole pierced through her body.

You could almost hear her scream as you were handed a pair of gloves, imagining what she must’ve been thinking that night. 

“Where are the other 3 victims?” You asked, carefully moving Marica’s cold, dead hand aside to reach the papers that she was laying on top of. 

You grabbed an evidence bag and you stuffed the papers into it carefully, hoping that it might be useful later.

You already had a few ideas just by looking at the position of the gunshot, directly from behind her, but you decided just to share it at the hotel later with the rest of the team 

Rossi motions over to a small room near Marcia’s desk, the windows were covered with yellowed blinds that looked like they’d been there since the 80s. 

You walked over to the room slowly, stopping at the doorway and swallowing hard.  
There, a man lay lifeless on the floor, in a pool of his own blood. 

Two gunshot wounds to his back were what finished him off, but you made note of the bruises on his arms and neck. 

A small, disposable, styrofoam coffee cup lay tipped over on the floor not far from the victim, and coffee-stained linoleum sat all around it. 

You leaned down near the body, sitting on the heels of your feet as you saw the true horror of his death.

His eyes were left wide open, staring into yours, no life lingered in them. Just empty holes peering into your soul with a deep black abyss. 

A fearsome expression on his face made your heart drop a little.

You closed your eyes and looked away from him with a sigh, opening them again to see Spencer Reid standing behind you.

He gave you a sad look, but you stood up and brushed past him, not wanting him to think that you couldn’t handle the case. 

It was true that you had a hard time stomaching violent crime victim’s bodies, but you were an excellent observer of things like that. 

It had to be done, and you sure as hell didn’t need Reid’s pity. You felt bad enough. 

“There are two more victims, Phillipa Guild and John Gilliam, both are in the dining hall… Hey, are you alright?” You heard JJ ask from behind you, but you said nothing, rubbing your temples and feeling nausea rising in your stomach. 

“... Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Thanks, J,” You replied, but it wasn’t very convincing, and you knew that she heard the uncomfortable tone in your voice that you were trying so hard to hide.

She sat you down on the floor and ordered a nearby police officer to get you a cup of water. 

“I told you, J, I’m fine!” You protested, but she didn’t believe you. 

You were handed a glass of water, and you downed it quickly in attempts to show her that you could handle it.

She frowned, seeing through your little act, and you knew that she was about to say something that you weren’t going to like. 

I mean, just because you were the second-youngest on the team doesn’t mean that everyone else should get to boss you around. 

It’s not your fault that you were born in 1988! (the year is 2009)

“Maybe you should just go wait in the car, we’re almost done here anyway,” She suggested, but you shook your head. 

You weren’t going to let your gut get in the way of your profession. This was all you’ve wanted to do your whole life. 

The team usually stuck you with questioning duty, knowing about your little “problem” with seeing the bodies. 

You didn’t mind it, but you’d rather be out on the field with everyone else and not be stuck with Reid all day. 

They could pick anyone else for you to partner with and you wouldn’t mind, honestly. 

“No, J. I can take it,” You reply, but before you know it, you’re being shoved out the door and practically buckled into the front seat of one of the black BMU’s. 

You cross your arms to signify your surrender, but they obviously didn’t trust you because you’ll never guess who they sent for “Y/N Duty”... Spencer fucking Reid. Shocker. 

He climbed into the driver’s seat with his stupid little sweater vest and his stupid head of curls, and you smelled his light spritz of cologne wafting into your nose invitingly as he plopped into the seat next to you.

“Hi,” He said, giving you a little Spencer smile before you turn your head away from him and out the window, not even bothering to respond, and your arms still crossed. 

“Of course, they sent you,” You reply after a while, turning your head to look at him. Smiling sarcastically like you usually do when Spencer climbs in your car.

He stares out the windshield at the tall apartment building in front of us, leaning onto the wheel of the car slightly and looking upward at the shining sun that was reflecting off of the glass.

It practically looked like the Empire State building.

You see him squint at the sun before pulling his head back into his seat.

“Did you know that sunlight takes approximately 6.3 minutes to reach the Earth from the surface of the Sun?” He says after a minute, making you roll your eyes.

Of course, he had to say something that made you feel like the dumbest person on Earth. Should you know that? You don’t know. All you know is that Spencer Reid does, and that’s enough to upset you. 

“No, Reid, I didn’t know that,” You replied in a tone that you liked to call ‘Drop it, Reid’, but he seemed to take it as a cue to keep spewing out facts about photons and the hemisphere, and basically anything to do with the word “sun”. 

He even went back to the ancient Egyptians beliefs that the sun was a God, sparing you no details. Fun times with Spencer, right? 

“Hey, you know what else reminds me of the sun?” You ask, cutting him off and watching him play into your trick to get him to stop talking like a child. 

His big brown eyes gleamed at you enthusiastically, making you feel a little remorse because he seemed to be interested in the conversation that he was having with you. Actually, he was more talking to himself, answering his own rhetorical questions.

No, he totally wouldn’t be enjoying this, you despised each other. 

“The beautiful golden arches of McDonald’s. We should get some,” You said, smiling and looking out the window, remembering just then how hungry you were. 

He sighed and pulled out his phone, typing in a few letters before stopping.

He turned and looked at you, and a small smirk came upon his face. He had an idea. 

“Do you have any idea how bad McDonald’s is for you? Scientists have proven it. If you sat one of their burgers on the counter for 10 years, it would probably look the same,” He droned, explaining all of the not-so-natural ingredients in their food.

“Reid… I honestly don’t care. I’m hungry. Can we please just get the fucking McDonald’s?” You retorted, giving him a small smile and watching him grab the car keys out of his pocket. You smiled bigger in your victory.

Instead of sticking them in the ignition, though, he held them high above his head, causing a scowl to erupt out of you. 

“Give me the keys, Spencer!” You huffed, unbuckling and leaning against the middle compartment of the car, reaching for the keys.

That only made him laugh, and he held them as high as his stupidly long arms could go. 

You did the most unimaginable thing that you could think of- or rather, not what you could think of. You weren’t thinking at all, just about the french fries and nuggets that Reid desperately scrutinized. 

You’d lunged at him, causing soft laughter to fall out of his mouth as you grabbed for the keys.

“Reid! This isn’t-” You began to say before he cleared his throat and you realized that you were practically laying on top of his chest.

You could feel the curls at the end of his hair brushing against your face as he slowly let his arm down, not taking his eyes off of you. 

You hadn’t realized how far you’d gone before it was too late, and here you both were, staring at each other. 

You could smell the faint scent of lavender radiating from his person, but you quickly moved away from him, a horrified expression on your face. 

“Sorry…,” You managed to squeak out from your side of the car, a flush of embarrassing red filled your cheeks.

He just stared out the windshield and said nothing, his face glowing pink.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Reid eventually did take you to the fast-food restaurant, and you also picked up food for the rest of the team.

He insisted that he’d pay for it all, but you said it wasn’t necessary. You got into a small argument with him over it, but you eventually split the cost.  
Yes, at a McDonald’s.  
You couldn’t imagine the looks that you two were getting, but it was the only way to get him to shut up about it.

You were happy, though, when Spencer passed you all of the food and you smelled the salt and grease fill your nose.

You smiled with glee, and you took a french fry out of the bag before stupid Reid smacked it out of your hand. 

“Hey! What the hell was that all about?” You asked, but he shook his head at you.

“You’re going to get crumbs in the car, and I’m going to have to clean it. Did you know that crumbs can attract various bugs like cockroaches? They have an incredible sense of smell that-” He explained, but you cut him off.

“Fine! I won’t eat until we get to the hotel,” You said, looking longingly at the food in your lap. 

Spencer seemed to notice because he reached over and grabbed a fry out of your bag, shoving it in his mouth and making eating sounds that made you want to cry.

“Better than I expected,” He said with a small smile, turning into the hotel parking lot.

You smiled too, but not because you were happy to be with him, but out of irony. 

‘Hypocrite,’ You thought, laughing to yourself.


	2. Chapter 2: "Insomnia and Hotel Rooms"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y/n finds herself in an interesting predicament when she wakes up in a room that's not hers. <333 hope y'all enjoy this chapter!

You lay in your hotel room bed, a few of the small tequila bottles from the fridge lay on the floor in disarray.

You sighed and looked over at the clock, “3:13 AM”.

The sheets rubbed against your skin, and you felt the cold, soft, fluff of the pillow on your head.

The quiet rolling of a custodian cart went past your door and down the hall, but other than that, it was pure silence.

You couldn’t sleep, but what was new?

You sat up in your bed and stared around the room. 

You looked at your travel bag that had a few shirts hanging out of it as it sat on a bench near the door. 

The walls were painted a sad, dusty white, and the carpet on the floor was mainly red with a few patterns and dots here and there.

The popcorn ceiling drooped, and you watched as some of the pieces came together to make animals and trees in your mind. 

A slight sound of TV came from a few doors down.

‘Spencer’s room,’ You thought to yourself.

You slid over to the side of the bed, putting your feet on the floor slowly, yawning. 

You were so tired, and you weren’t even really sure what you were doing. 

There was a small mirror on the wall that you looked at yourself in.

You were wearing a pair of blue and grey striped pajama shorts, and a black tank top to match.

Your hair was put up in a messy bun that you played with for a few minutes before putting your hands back down.

Why did you care what you looked like? It was just Spencer. 

You stumbled out of your door, tasting the tequila still on your tongue. Lime misted over the top of your mouth.

You weren’t drunk, but you were buzzed enough to go see Reid, so something must be happening in that brain of yours. 

You walked down the deserted hall, careful not to wake anyone up, and laughing quietly when you stepped the wrong way or heard a noise coming from inside of a room. 

Finally, you reached his room. “201”.

You gave a little knock on the door before it opened slowly, Reid standing there with his hair all fluffed and messy.

You blushed but quickly sobered up as he stood in the doorway in front of you, waiting for you to say something. 

“It’s late, Y/N. Shouldn’t you be asleep?” He asked, his voice groggy and tired. 

You just shrugged, and he let you into his room.

Everything was neat, and you saw a large window on the back wall that was covered in a brown, mesh curtain. 

His bag sat on a bench that mirrored yours, and you couldn’t really remember where you were anymore until you saw Spencer plop down on his bed.

The TV’s light glowed on his face and behind him on the wall, his shadow being reflected behind him.

It flashed several different shades of blue and pink and you could hear a faint voice speaking as the commercial break hit. 

You sat down next to him, causing him to look at you strangely as you lay down on his bed. 

“I can’t even sleep anymore, Reid,” You said in a tone of disbelief, looking at him from where your head rested on one of his pillows. 

You pressed your hand to your forehead, fatigue washing over your body as you sunk deeper into his sheets.

You probably looked pathetic, but you had too much alcohol to care about it. 

It was a terrible idea to put minibars in hotel rooms, who came up with that? 

“What do you mean?” He asked, laying down next to you on his side, and looking into your eyes for a minute.

“I see them,” You reply, frowning and trying to close your eyes, but quickly opening them at the sight of the dead man's face. 

“Who?” He asks again, his tone laced with a little worry. 

You smiled weakly but said nothing. 

“People like the man in the coffee room,” You replied after a while, yawning and looking at Spencer.

“Oh… It’s okay, Y/N. I’ve seen them too,” He says, putting one of his hands on your back out of instinct, making you jump a little. 

You did something that you wouldn't have done if you were sober. In fact, if you were sober, you wouldn't even be here.

You scooted your body closer to his, feeling the warmth of each other's touch swarm together. It was peaceful. You didn't pull away.

You don’t remember anything else but pitch black after that. It’s just what you needed. No dreams, no nightmares, just comforting nothingness.  
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  
[cute spencer moment, love that for us. ]

You woke up the next morning, opening your eyes slowly and feeling the warm sunshine on your back, making you feel peaceful.

You smiled to yourself, closing your foggy eyes again and feeling something soft and warm touching your lower side.

Then, you realized that the window in your room was facing towards the front of your body, and you quickly jumped up, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. 

Spencer’s arm was loosely wrapped around your back, and he lay there calmly in his sleep. 

‘This isn’t my room,’ You thought to yourself, looking around and seeing all of Reid’s things neatly displayed over his hotel room.

“Oh my god,” You whispered, feeling a sharp pain hit your head.

It all started coming back to you, the tequila, the stumbling, Spencer’s bedroom.

‘Shit,’ You thought, wincing at the hangover that you’d gotten.

You fell back in his bed, not even bothering to be quiet and gentle as not to wake him anymore.

He grumbled in his sleep, reaching for you unconsciously.

Your eyes went wide, and you lay as still as you could, very awkwardly. 

‘What the hell is going on?’ You said in your head, freaking out as Spencer’s arm wrapped around you once more.

Sure, it didn’t bother you when you were asleep, but now that you were awake? This was crazy.

Spencer fucking Reid, the annoying little kid, was laying next to you. 

IN HIS PAJAMAS. SHIRTLESS, I MIGHT ADD. 

You shimmied slowly out of his bed, tip-toeing across the floor and hoping that it could convince him that this was all a dream.  
You left no trace of you in his room, making your side- NO! You did NOT have a side of the bed. In Spencer’s room. No way. 

You made the bed, the one that you just happened to wander into last night, and you slipped out of his door, practically sprinting back to your room in a panic. 

“What. The. Hell,” You said aloud, allowing yourself to catch your breath. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You stared at the alcohol bottles on your floor in horror, quickly grabbing them and throwing them away in your bathroom trash can. 

You slipped into a cold shower, hoping to wash off any feelings that you shared with… Reid last night.

Let’s review, shall we?

First, you drank almost half of the minibar in attempts to try and pass out so that you might FINALLY be able to sleep.

Then, after your attempts failed, you decided that it would be a good idea to go to Spencer’s room.

You can’t remember why, and you certainly should’ve just turned on the TV, but no. 

You just had to wander into the worst possible bed that you could. Spencer’s. 

Lastly, you fell asleep. In his room. I don't think you'll ever get over saying that in your mind. Spencer's. Room. 

A sigh of relief escaped you, as you recalled that you didn’t actually sleep with him. 

You got dressed like you normally would, brushed your teeth and hair, and stepped out of your room slowly, trying to act as normal as you usually did. 

But you didn’t feel normal. 

In fact, this all felt extremely weird. Like it wasn't even real. 

But you knew that it was. 

If you ran into Reid today, which you didn’t doubt you would, you’d have to convince him not to say anything. 

That was going to be just grand. 

I mean, it’s not like Spencer would want to do everything in his power to embarrass you as he had ever since you’d arrived at the BAU. 

It's not like Emily, JJ, and Garcia would bug you about it for the rest of your life if they found out.

‘This is going to go horribly wrong, isn’t it?’ You thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked this chapter as much as i did!! do you think that spencer can keep this to himself? let's hope so.


	3. "17,000 People, and I'm Here With You" Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here comes some scary events guys, but there's a little bonding. :) this is part one of two, so be prepared for a long ride, folks. anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter, and don't be shy, leave some kudos!

You walked down the hall to go down to the lobby, stopping at the elevator, and you’ll never guess who was waiting. 

Your sleeping buddy. 

“I-, uh, good morning, Y/N,” Spencer stuttered awkwardly, standing with his hands shoved deep down into his pockets. 

He had a shirt on now and was wearing a pair of brown, khaki pants, matching perfectly in brightness to his green tie.

With his height and long legs, he literally looked like a tree. 

“Morning,” You replied, hearing the dreaded ding of the elevator, and you watched your reflection slowly disappear from the silver doors as they slid away. 

You both stepped onto the elevator floor, holding your breath through the awkward silence.

Your grip tightened on the metal bars behind you as you stared into the bright red numbers on the screen. They slowly decreased in value as you listened to the light ticking of the cables that were holding you in there together.  
You’d been thinking about what happened all morning long, but neither one of you could bring yourself to bring it up. 

Instead, you kept your eyes dead ahead of you, feeling you drop down slowly, but then curiously, faster and faster.

The metal container came to a screeching halt, and you held on for dear life as you bobbed up and down, the lights flickering.

“What’s going on?” You said, a hint of fear in your voice made Spencer move a little closer to you. You tried to stay calm as Spencer’s hand pressed against yours on the bar. 

This made you uncomfortable, but you pretended not to notice. 

“The elevator stopped. There, uh, should be a button on the control panel, you can call for help,” He said, pointing to the bright red, plastic button that was labeled ‘for emergencies only’.

You clicked on the button a few times, hearing a small ticking noise come from it before an intercom was connected to the elevator speakers. 

“Reid, Y/L/N, are you guys okay?” Emily’s voice came through the intercom, making you sigh with relief.

“Yeah… I think so. The elevator, it just… stopped,” You said, a bit shaken up over the loud creaking of the cables above you. 

“We know, Garcia’s looking into it to see if someone might’ve turned the key. Y/N… we think… we think someone’s hacked your elevator through the control panel,” JJ said, her voice was full of worry. 

“Approximately 17,000 people are killed each year in escalator and elevator accidents,” Spencer stated, his voice laced with panic like the rest of the team.

He even nervously spewed out random facts.  
“Not helping, Reid. J… do you think we’ll make it out of here?” You asked.

She didn’t respond to your question, and you could hear her breathing labored a little through the microphone. You hoped it was just static.

“Garcia’s just tracked you guys… you’re stuck in between floors, it could be hours before we can get someone to pull the cables up. Even then, until we know who’s controlling this-” JJ explained, but her voice was cut off by a loud screech as you and Spencer dropped down a few inches.

You let out a scream, the lights flashing around you, sparks came from the panel. 

The elevator stopped moving, and you were stuck again. 

You took your hands off of your head, your breaths labored and your hands shaking. 

“JJ!” You yelled, but the team could no longer hear you. The speakers had been disconnected, and you were trapped.  
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

Being alone in a deserted elevator with Reid was the least of your worries right now, as both of you scrambled to find the emergency evacuation panel that should be on the top of the elevator’s metal ceiling. 

You ran your fingers over the top until you found a square crease in the metal. 

“Reid, over here!” You exclaimed, moving aside and watching as his long arms pushed as hard as he could through the panel. 

It was no use, though, because someone had already thought this through. 

Whoever trapped you in there, certainly didn’t want you to get out any time soon.

The panel was sealed shut, and you’d lost all hope as Spencer gave his last attempt at opening the exit.

“It’s no use, Reid. We’re just going to have to wait…,” You said, slouching onto the floor and holding your knees in your arms.

He sat down across from you, a neutral look on his face, but panic in his eyes.

Your mind raced at the thought of being trapped in here for hours with him, but after this, you knew that he certainly wouldn’t be thinking about your night with him. 

There was a long silence before one of you spoke again, both trying to think up strategies on how to get yourselves out of this mess.

“Do you think we’re going to die, Y/N?” He said calmly, despite the weight of his words. 

You picked your head off of your knees to look at him, holding your forearms tightly with fear. 

His big, brown eyes stared into yours deeply as you tried to assess his morbid thought. 

“No. You know that Hotch’s stubbornness would never allow two of his best team members to perish in an elevator accident,” You joked, trying to lighten up the mood by giving him a weak smile. 

He smiled back, letting a soft, ironic laugh escape him. 

“Out of all the people in the world I could die with…,” He said, looking at you with a smirk on his face.

You nodded knowingly, laughing gently and laying your head back on the elevator wall as you sat together on the floor. 

You stared up at the fluorescent lights, watching them circle around in your brain for a moment.

“I wasn’t thinking straight yesterday… I’d drank through most of the night up until I came to see you,” You explained, searching his eyes for any sign of discomfort, there was none.

“I know. I almost came to see you too, and I saw you drinking. You should really lock your door next time. 25% of the U.S. population don’t lock their garages and windows, causing more theft and burglaries,” He replied, looking down at the floor, realizing that he’d just given himself away. 

You lingered on his words, though, and not the ones that you’d expect. He’d said “next time”. Like this was going to happen again, like he was going to come see you again. 

“See me? Why?” You asked him curiously, looking over at him as he stared down at his shoes, not wanting to make eye contact with you. 

He looked up after a moment, looking at your face and detecting no sign of anger or embarrassment, just pure curiosity. 

“Because we’re friends,” He said, his face was blank as if that was a known fact to everyone.

You laughed a little and looked at him to see if he was joking. He wasn’t. 

That was a pure, serious Reid face right there, and you’d know it anywhere.

You smiled at him and nodded. 

“Yeah, we’re friends, Reid,” You replied. 

It took a life-threatening situation to finally bring you two together. Who would’ve thought?  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

After a while of waiting, Rossi began to get more and more worried about you and Spencer.  
Garcia’s searches have been dead ends, and JJ and Emily were out questioning the hotel’s staff. Whom of which claim to have seen nothing suspicious. 

“They’ll be okay, we’ll get them out,” Hotch told him reassuringly, but Rossi wasn’t buying anything that he was selling. 

“What hijackers have been released recently in the area, and what motives do they have against us?” Derek suggested to Garcia over the phone, but she’s insisted that she’s already looked.

“Look again,” Hotch instructed her, and they set her down on one of the tables in the empty hotel lobby, waiting for her to come up with something. 

“We have a… *typing noises from her side of the screen* Mark Julliard. He was released about 4 months ago. It says here that he went to college with Agent Y/N, but no other connections in majors, classes, etc.” She said, and Morgan could hear her hands drop with frustration onto her desk through the phone.

“Call Emily and have her and Jareau look into that,” Hotch whispered to Derek before walking off to get another cup of coffee. 

Rossi sighed with frustration and relief, they might have a lead.  
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys liked part one of chapter 3, will they get them out in time? will they not? who knows, well, i do. part 2 coming tomorrow, i have volleyball! :)


	4. "17,000 People, and I'm Here With You" Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> y/n thinks spencer looks a little fine in this one (who doesn't lolz) there's bonding. cute, ik. AND they just might get out of the elevator soon (but not without some angst ya know fjdsf) 
> 
> anyways, i hope you enjoy this chapter as much as i did writing it! :) thank you so much for the kudos, i rlly appreciate it!

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It’d been four hours since you and Reid had been trapped in the elevator, and with no way to contact the team, you two felt useless. And hot. 

There was no air conditioning in here, so you had stripped down to your shorts and sports bra, sweat dripping off of your forehead.

New York summers were hot, you recalled, and this was definitely a perfect representation of that. 

The alcohol had drained you, so you were pretty dehydrated.

Reid didn’t look so good either, his sweater vest was thrown across the floor and his tie was loosened from around his neck.

His shirt was practically all the way unbuttoned, slightly revealing his hidden toned body.

His messy hair was dripping slightly with sweat, and his breathing was heavier, but still controlled. 

'Apparently, even robots get hot. It's probably a new feature to the Spencer 1000', You said, laughing to yourself, your voice was a little hoarse from dehydration. 

We both panted and groaned as we waited for the help to come, and you felt like you were slowly losing your sanity as you watched Spencer breathe in front of you, his chest poking out from behind his striped button-up. 

You dragged your eyes away from him and to the wall of the elevator, shining reflectively with its dark silver. 

Two of the lights had already gone out, and you couldn’t stand the heat that was radiating from each other’s bodies. The elevator was shutting down at the same rate you were. 

“Can you just… scoot farther away. I can practically feel your body on me, it’s gross,” You whined, watching as Spencer weakly pushed himself against the wall and smiled.

“I’m sorry, Y/N, does this make you feel uncomfortable?” He said, throwing his shirt completely off on top of his sweater vest. 

You narrowed your eyes at him and scoffed, pretending not to notice the way that you were looking at him. 

“Yes, actually. So if you don’t mind, could you just keep your abs to yourself?” You said, laughing and jokingly shielding your eyes to keep you from seeing his body. 

You had to admit it, though, he looked kind of hot. 

“Sure, and can you just keep your pants on, since you’re practically naked?” He groaned, laughing back and turning away from you. 

You chuckled and turned your head away from him as well, glancing occasionally at his brown belt on his pants that was digging into his skin as he slouched back against the wall. 

“Who’d have thought that Spencer Reid would have such bad posture?” You said, smiling and dabbing the sweat off of your forehead with Spencer’s shirt that you picked up off the ground. 

It smelled just like him. 

“Yeah, yeah- and who’d have thought that Y/N L/N wasn’t as badass as she seems!” He retorted, stuttering and sitting up a little straighter to contradict you. He wanted to appear as strong as you, so he crossed his arms in the same way that you did yours. 

“Not- not as badass? Does Spencer Reid say dirty words? I’m shocked,” You said dramatically, putting your hand to your head as they did in old silent films whenever a damsel was in distress.

He rolled his eyes at you, but you let that one go. 

You were going to die in an elevator together if the team didn’t get their shit together, so might as well be friends while doing it.

Besides, you actually were kind of shocked. You’d never heard him curse before, except for an occasional “damn” when he spilled hot coffee on his hands.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Several phone calls went off on the desks of the team’s temporary office at the hotel. 

Rossi fidgeted a little with his ring before finally picking up the phone. 

“Hello?” Emily’s voice questioned from the other side of the line.

“Yes, Agent Prentiss, have you got news on the lead?” Rossi asked curiously, waving Hotch over so that he could hear the phone call as well. 

“Yeah, when we got to the apartment, it was empty,” JJ replied from somewhere near Emily, her tone was a little panicked, making Rossi more nervous.

He had been like a father to you ever since you arrived at the BAU, mentoring you and teaching you the ways of the FBI. You’d become really important to him, after losing his son so suddenly like that. 

“Dave… there were photos of her, all in his room. The guy’s been watching her for weeks, maybe even months,” JJ finished, leaving only silence to fill the room at the hotel. 

“Well, looks like we’ve got our guy,” Hotch said, trying to hide the worry in his voice. He didn’t know where to find him, and he certainly didn’t know how to get his agents out of the elevator. 

He’d never been in an elevator accident, but based on the cases that he’d seen before, they must be burning up in there. It wasn't long before they'd pass out from the lack of air conditioning and the hot air rising.

David pulled a chair out from underneath the hotel desk, and he sat down, rubbing his temples. He was genuinely nervous now, now that they had nearly no evidence to find him. 

Then, a thought hit him. 

“Call Garcia, ask her if she’s got any leads on the maintenance elevators,” He said, standing up and walking to the phone.

“What?” Hotch asked, but then the same thought hit him too.

You can control the elevators from the maintenance room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kindly asking for kudos (only if you enjoyed this chapter) :)
> 
> thank you so much for reading!! chapter 4 coming out later today!  
> (or tomorrow, but i have a lot of time on my hands with the pandemic lol)


	5. "A Beautiful Mind"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> guess what? they're saved! yay, ik, i was trying to think realistically and i was like "well, they would probably die after 3 days, so let's just get them outta there lol" BUT THE DRAMA AND SADNESS DOESN'T STOP THERE, NOPE. hope you like it!! :)

Your eyes opened slowly, and you wiped away the fog that curtained over your eyes gently. 

You blinked a few times and looked around you, frowning when you remembered that you were still stuck in the elevator. 

You felt a kind of cloth draped over your body, and you realized that the temperature was colder than it had been. You must’ve dropped lower.

You looked down and saw that Spencer’s shirt lay on top of you, keeping you warm.

He was such a gentleman, it almost made you sick. 

Spencer himself lay in a peaceful position, asleep, and laying his head droopily against the wall in front of you.

You scooted over to him, careful not to wake him up, and you stared at the thick curls that now covered his head. 

All of the gel was gone, causing you to notice a light dusting of blonde strokes through the front of his hair.

He grunted a little in his sleep, making you laugh quietly.

You watched as his eyes fluttered open, and you saw him staring back at you, a little alarmed at the sight of your body so close to his.

“Hm, hi, Y/N. Having fun?” He said, smiling a little smile. Damn he was so cute.

His voice was tired and rough, causing a bit of butterflies to flutter around in your stomach. 

You scoffed, but smiled back as he rubbed his eyes, sitting up to face you.

There was a light clanging on the ceiling, making both of you jump upward.

Loud voices spoke, and you could hear shoes tapping against the elevator.

“Spencer, do you think?” You asked, and he nodded knowingly.

You were getting saved. 

There was yelling outside, and finally, a loud screeching of metal pulling apart. You saw Hotch and Rossi laying on their stomachs, looking at you and Reid.

“Hotch, Rossi! Finally decided to save us, huh?” You joked, grinning widely as they reached out their arms to pull you both out. 

You stood on the ground for the first time in what seemed like years, and Reid gave Morgan the biggest hug you’d ever seen. 

“Yeah, well, we had to think about it for a minute,” Morgan joked back, pulling you into a headlock and rubbing the top of your head despite your protests.

JJ walked out of the dining room with a coffee in hand, dropping it immediately when she saw you, running toward you.

She pulled you into a big hug, and you wrapped your arms around her back tightly.

“J!” You exclaimed, looking behind her to see Emily standing there, smiling at the both of you.

“Emily,” You said gratefully, pulling her into a hug as well.

Then, behind you came Rossi, picking you up and spinning you around, immediately regretting it because you were heavier than he expected.

“There’s my Bella ragazza,” He said, giving you a soft smile as he set you back down on the ground.

He put his hand on your cheeks appraisingly, and you smiled when he kissed your forehead, making you giggle a little. 

“Grazie, papa,” You replied, feeling small tears welling up in your eyes. David had always been there for you, he was like the father that you never had. To think that you could’ve lost each other made you even more grateful to be standing beside him. 

You turned to Hotch, a small smile was curled on his lips and he held out his hand for you to shake.

You brushed past it, and you gave him a tiny hug before pulling away, Hotch’s cheeks transitioning through deep rouges.

He wasn’t sure how to react, so he just put his hand onto the back of his head nervously, mumbling something about coffee and walking away. 

Then, after letting out a little laugh, your eyes turned to Spencer, and you gave him a beaming smile. A Spencer smile. 

You put your arm around his shoulders, leading the rest of the team outside where police sirens and ambulances sat, looking over at Reid’s face that was shining purple due to the sirens and lights. 

“Looks like we’re not one of those 17,000 people, huh?” You said to him, and he nodded. 

All was right in the world. Just for a moment. 

And then, it happened. 

A shot, coming from the left of you, hitting Spencer directly in the bare chest. A gasp escaped his mouth as he slowly looked down to where the bullet hit. 

Everything was happening so fast, and you could hear your heartbeat in your ears as people rushed toward the building after hearing the shot, the police holding them back.

You held Spencer up as his blood stained your hands and legs, the culprit was the mother of the hijacker, shouting at us for taking away her son. 

They pushed her against the wall, handcuffing her and pushing her head into the car, the rest of the team rushing to Spencer’s side.

He couldn’t walk any further, and he fell onto the pavement, unconscious. 

You held his face in your hands, sitting on your knees over him and begging him to wake up. 

“We need a medic! We need one now!” JJ yelled, and a stretcher came towards you almost immediately.

Spencer was taken from you and placed in the ambulance. 

J held you back as you watched the cars drive away, with Spencer in one of them.

Tears fell onto your cheeks as you watched the bright red hospital truck driving farther and farther away from you.

You let out a loud yell for it to stop, but it was too far away.

The team looked at you with sad eyes, but they said nothing. They knew that you wouldn’t listen anyway.

You ran to the nearest team vehicle, throwing yourself into the front seat and wiping the tears away from your cheeks.

You didn’t close the car door yet as you slammed your hands on the wheel in frustration. 

You sniffled and looked around for the keys, Hotch holding them up from beside you.

You reached for them, but he pulled them back, shaking his head.

“You can’t drive like this, Y/N…,” He said, and you reluctantly shifted over to the passenger side, putting your hands over your face.

He climbed into the driver’s seat, putting the key in the ignition calmly and pulling out.

“I thought it was over, Hotch, it’s all my fault…,” You said through sobs.

He said nothing, staring out the windshield as he drove you to the hospital, the team not far behind. 

‘It should’ve hit me,’ You thought. 

‘Not him,’  
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When you all arrived at the hospital, you rushed through the doors, immediately finding the front desk. 

“I need to see Spencer Reid, please,” You said, the panic and desperation in your voice was more abundant than ever before.

You’ve never felt so much worry in all your life as you waited for her to say something, anything.

You had to see him. Now. 

She flipped through the sign-in papers for a moment before handing you an empty page, causing you to stare at her blankly.

“Alright, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to sign this form,” She said, causing your blood to boil a little. 

“Look, my best friend just got shot. Yes, that’s right, shot. I would like to see him now, so if you could just tell me what room he’s in, that would be lovely,” You said, a bit of annoyance laced your tone. 

I mean, did she not understand that Reid just got shot. And now she’s asking you to fill out a form? You thought that it was ridiculous. 

Hotch stepped in from behind you, putting a hand on your shoulder and moving you behind him. 

“My apologies for my agent’s behavior, ma’am. I’ll be happy to sign that for you,” He said, turning his eyes to you sternly for a moment as to say ‘Watch your attitude, Y/N, I’m your boss’ . 

He took a small silver pen out of his pocket that practically disappeared in his hand, and he began signing the blue paper wherever she told him to, smiling at her over the paper while he slid it back and forth to her. 

This was no time for flirting, damnit, Hotch. 

You huffed and tapped your foot anxiously, looking around at all of the rushing nurses and doctors. 

Patients in wheelchairs were being rolled across the hospital floors and the loud beeping of monitors filled your ears as Hotch finished signing the sheet. 

The smell of hand sanitizer and the elderly was all around you as you were ushered through two of the double doors in front of you.

You weren’t paying any attention to what the rest of the team was doing, and you let Hotch lead you to Spencer’s room, trying to keep you calm as your heart raced inside of you.

What if he wasn’t okay? What if he didn’t make it?  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You stood outside of the doorway, closing your eyes for a moment and holding your breath.

‘One,’ You counted, breathing in deeply and letting out slowly.

‘Two,’ You breathed again, taking a step forward with your eyes still closed.

‘Three,’ You opened your eyes, turning your body toward the beeping sound of Spencer’s monitors. 

You stepped into the room, seeing a still Spencer Reid laying on a hospital bed. 

He wore a white and blue gown, and he was halfway covered with a thin, blue blanket, his long arms resting at his sides.

His eyes were closed, and the beeping steadied on his monitor as you watched his chest slowly rise and fall. 

You moved closer to him, Hotch pulling out a chair for you to sit in beside Reid’s bed before leaving you alone with Spencer.

It was only then that you realized how pale he looked, and you could feel a sad look fill your countenance.

You just stared at him for a few moments, feeling nausea rise in your stomach. 

A nurse came in a few minutes later, but you didn’t notice her. 

She left a few more pillows and blankets on the small table in the back of the room for Spencer before speaking to you, making you jump a little.

“You should talk to him, it’ll make him feel better,” She suggested, smiling at you a little before turning to go.  
“He… he can hear me?” You asked, turning your glossy eyes to her, a tear running down the side of your cheek. 

She walked over to you slowly, gently resting a hand on your shoulder. 

“Some are skeptical, but I think it helps,” She shrugged her shoulders, looking at Spencer who lay dormant.

“Here...take his hand, I’m sure he’ll be happy to know you’re here,” She said softly, her voice and eyes were kind.

You reluctantly placed your hand on top of his, feeling the warmth of his body run through the ice that shielded yours from the pain you felt inside.

You looked at the nurse, and she nodded and left the room. 

You put your head down on the edge of his bed, not letting go of his hand, giving yourself a minute.

“Hey, Reid…,” Is all you could manage to get out before the first tear fell.

You looked back up at him, and you couldn’t believe how still he looked.

You tried your hardest to ignore the tubes that were running into his body, swallowing the lump in your throat that kept you from speaking. 

“This is the quietest you’ve been since I met you,” You joked, smiling weakly and recalling all of his dumb statistics he always seemed to throw out for the world to know. You never knew how much you loved it when he did that until he couldn’t. 

“You know, it’s funny. I didn’t think that robots could be affected by gunfire, but I guess I was wrong…,” You said, your voice breaking as you looked at him with teary eyes.

“I was wrong about a lot of things, Spencer, and I’m so sorry,” 

The words fell out of your mouth slowly, fueling your tears like gasoline on a wildfire. 

It was your fault for believing that nothing was going to happen and that everything would be okay after being miraculously saved. 

He wouldn’t have gotten hit if you hadn’t stopped to say something.

Maybe if you’d kept your guard up, he wouldn’t be here right now. 

You wouldn’t have to wonder if you were ever going to see his stupidly cute smile again, hear his ridiculously adorable laugh. 

“You feel more than any person I know. You care. I never hated you, Reid, I was just so jealous. I was jealous of the way you thought. Because you’re the brain. You have a genius’ mind… a mind, that’s so beautiful that I couldn’t even begin to imagine all of the things that you remember and think about every day. Some of which, it would take years for an average person to even process, to even have an inkling about-” You stop, feeling a small touch on your hand. 

Spencer’s pinky was now curved loosely around your finger. 

You stare with astonishment as it slowly flexes back, resting. 

He heard you, every word.

You smile, a small, shaky smile. 

“Reid… you’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had. And to even think that you’re in here because of me…,” You swallowed, biting your lip and looking away from him and out the window, taking a deep breath. 

You let go of his hand, standing up slowly and bending down over him.

You brushed his golden hair back, and planted a kiss on his forehead, letting him know that you weren’t going anywhere. 

“I’m sorry…,” You whispered with closed eyes, resting your head on the wall beside his bed. 

And you really meant it.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, if you liked this chapter, i humbly ask for ur kudos lol :)  
> if you have any ideas on how i should continue this story, pls share them!  
> (and if i use any of your ideas, i'll make sure to leave your username in the notes) TY I LOVE U ALL <333


	6. "Divorcee Problems'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so short!! idk what i was thinking while writing this, but hopefully i'll it later on for drama.

A beeping noise filled your ears.

Was it an alarm? 

Was it a truck outside? 

No, it was something else that you couldn’t quite figure out as you lay in a pit of darkness.

“Spencer…,” You said groggily, opening your eyes slowly and picking your head up off the edge of his bed. 

You hadn’t let go of his hand in your sleep, and neither did he because his index finger was wrapped tightly around yours. 

“Spencer,” You said again, remembering only then where you were.

For a split second, it hit you that he was in a coma from the impact and placement of the shot, the nurse saying that his nerves would be majorly affected, the doctor shaking his head when you asked if he would wake up. 

The beeping was the monitor was the very thing keeping you somewhat sane in knowing that his heart hadn’t stopped beating yet. 

It was like a wave hitting you all at once, making you swallow hard through your dry throat. 

“Y/N, have you been here all night?!” A shrill voice called from in front of you, and you turned around to see Garcia in the doorway.

She walked over to you quickly, handing you the water bottle that she’d just gotten from the cafeteria.

You opened it and took a drink, shaking your head.

“What’d you expect me to do, go home, get a good rest? Not with him like this,” You said, handing her back the water bottle, but she refused it, pushing it back into your hands.

You hadn’t realized how thirsty you’d been, and you downed the entire thing in less than a minute.

“Can you at least eat something?” She asked, her voice full of worry.

You shrugged and watched her pull a KitKat bar out of her purse, handing it to you.

“Thanks, Pen,” You said, smiling a little and breaking off little pieces, popping them into your mouth as she talked.

“Look, Y/N… I know that you’re worried about him, but if you just went home and took a shower-” She began, but you cut her off.

“I’m not leaving him, what if he wakes up?” You answered, shaking your head at her and looking back over your shoulder at Spencer, who lay there, saying nothing for the first time. 

“Then we’ll call you. Promise,” Garcia insists, holding out her pinky.

You hesitated, looking from Spencer to her. She might be right, but you wanted to be here when he opened his eyes. You wanted to be the first one that he talked to because you had so much to say.

But you also knew that they wouldn’t stop trying to persuade you to leave, just for a little while. 

You sighed and locked your pinky with hers, getting up from the hospital chair.

Your legs were sore from laying in the same position all night, and you felt pins and needles in your feet as you walked slowly to the door.

You turned back, looking at Spencer longingly before being ushered out of the hospital room by Penelope.

“Hotch will drive you home,” She insisted, giving him a look.

He sighed and put one of his hands gently on your back, leading you towards the sliding glass door with the word “exit” on it.

You turned around slightly for a moment to see JJ and Emily, rocking back and forth in the waiting room as David and Morgan paced, rushing up to any doctor in sight for news. Reid had a lot of people who cared about him. He’d be okay. 

You finally stepped carefully into the parking lot with Hotch, turning back and looking up at all of the glass boxes, wondering which one Spencer was in right now.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Aaron parked outside of your apartment building, watching you walk up the brick steps slowly. 

You greeted the doorman with a fake but realistic smile, trudging up the staircase inside that would lead you to your apartment.

The air smelled of lemon and linoleum, and you could practically feel the history flooding through your brain as you looked back down at the black and white tiled floor, tracing your fingers over the blue wallpaper that was etched with pink flowers here and there. It was peeling in some places, but you convinced yourself that it gave it character. Not like it needed any more. 

The ceiling had decorative molding with a large crystal chandelier towering over you in the center of the entry. 

You walked forward, trying to keep your head straight as you looked down at your feet that glided easily over the dark oak steps. 

Mrs. Robinson, an old lady who lived next door to you, was standing outside of her door, holding a brown paper bag of groceries. 

“Hello, dear! Would you mind unlocking this door for me? It’s hard to balance both of these, especially being an old woman like me,” She said, laughing softly and handing her apartment key to you. 

You carefully unlocked the door, holding it open for her as she walked through. 

“Thank you, Y/W/N,” She said as she sat the bag on a large round table in the middle of the kitchen. You could clearly see most of her apartment from where you were standing. 

There was a small loveseat in front of an older TV set that was covered with burlap colored flowers. The walls were a light blue, and there were two windows on either side of the TV, bringing in a small amount of light from the early morning. A few green lamps sat here and there over the room, and two closed doors lay on either side of the sitting room. It was small, but charming. 

“Of course, Mrs. Robinson,” You replied, shifting your weight as she came back for the key, and you handed it back to her silently.

“Oh! Whatever happened to that friend of yours? He wasn’t at the shelter last night, and I was beginning to get worried. What was his name? Simon… no, Spencer!” She said in a giddy tone, making you swallow hard. You had no idea they were acquainted, and just the sound of his name falling out of her mouth made you feel sick. 

You turned back around to see her poking her little head out from behind the door, waiting for you to reply.

Her blue eyes glinted at you softly as you looked at her, and a melancholy look came upon your face that you quickly hid by looking behind you for a moment. 

You couldn’t stand to speak about what happened, and you didn’t want her to worry, so you told a white lie. 

“He’s… out of town for the week,” You answered, shaking your head and giving her a small smile before walking away, hearing the door shut behind you as you stepped closer to your apartment.

You wanted to believe, more than anything else, that it was true.   
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You finally reached your destination, turning the small, copper key in the lock.

You pushed open the door, hearing it creaking quietly behind you as you stepped through.

A small draft followed suit as you shut the door, pushing hard so that it would close all the way.

It was an old building, so it wasn’t surprising that you’d have to work a little harder to get results from the original features. 

A serene feeling of home reached you as you looked around at the dark green walls that surrounded you. 

A small pot of coffee had been left on the table, it was mostly empty, but the smell still lingered around your kitchen. 

You opened the door to the bathroom, stepping onto the tile floor gently and throwing your clothes onto the floor with a sigh.

You turned the knob from behind the curtain, feeling the warm water flow across your skin. It was a nice feeling, unlike the icy shield that you had been wearing since the shot.

As you shampooed your hair, you thought about everything that had happened this week. You remembered Spencer in the car, and you smelled once again the scent of warm lavender from his cologne. 

You let that memory of him take over, smiling and laughing as you spoke the words that you’d said that day aloud. 

Then, it all went away as you recalled the rushing of paramedics, the police, the gunshot, Spencer’s blood all over your hands as you struggled to keep him alive. 

You turned the water off, a sharp mist of cold hitting your body as you pulled back the curtain and threw a towel around yourself. 

You stood in front of the mirror, looking at your figure in the foggy glass before flicking the light off. 

You craved the Spencer that you knew, the one that you loved. Your friend.   
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

After throwing on a hoodie and some jeans, you rushed back outside to Hotch’s car, climbing into the passenger seat as quickly as you could. 

Your half-dry hair made you cold, and you leaned over, flicking the heat on.

“Do you feel better?” He asked after a while of staying silent, his monotone voice echoing through the vehicle, making you shiver a little more.

You sunk further into the leather seat, shaking your head and staring out the windshield.

That was the question that you’d been bracing yourself for ever since you arrived at the hospital yesterday. You didn’t really know. Were you supposed to feel better? Would it make you seem like a bad person if you said yes? 

The truth is, you felt worse every time you stepped back into that room. Seeing him lying there scared you, and you didn’t know what to think. You wanted him to wake up more than anything. That would make you feel better. 

“It’s just not fair, Hotch,” You said, feeling the tears come into your eyes as you watched the buildings fly past you.

People walked along the sidewalks, holding their dogs on leashes, pulling their children aside to let others pass. 

He was silent again, making you nervous for whatever he was going to say next. “Be strong, Y/N”, “He’ll pull through”, are the answers you expected from him. 

“I know…,” He said, pressing his foot against the brakes for the stoplight.

This took you aback a little because this wasn’t the Hotch you knew. When he drove you to the hospital for the first time, he’d stayed calm and controlled, like he hadn’t been phased by Reid’s injury. You know that he’s seen many dead bodies in his life, but this was Spencer.

It wasn’t strange for him to act like that, though. He’d been controlling every hand-motion, every facial expression, and every word that he’s said since the divorce, too afraid to give anything away or reveal that he wasn’t acting professionally. Home life problems in a job like this could really affect productivity, and you knew that. 

The red glowed onto your face through the glass, taking you back to the bright red numbers that were switching downward in the elevator. Everything seemed to remind you of Spencer. 

You turned over to look at Aaron, his brooding face and eyebrows were furrowed in thought, waiting for the light to change so that he’d have a distraction from you. 

He couldn’t take seeing you so hurt. You are one of his best agents, and you’d known each other for years. You weren’t exactly close, but you’d been there for him when Haley had finalized the divorce. He owes you. 

“It was never your fault, Y/N. You could never have known that this was going to happen,” He reassured you, his words meaning more than he knows.

You felt a small tear run down the corner of your eye, on the side that was turned away from him. 

You were thankful that he couldn’t see the sadness on your face as he continued to drive, but as the silence thickened in the air, you knew that he could feel it.

“If I’d just moved a little further, walked on the other side of him maybe, it wouldn’t have hit him-” You began to ramble, but Hotch cut you off.

He pulled over into an empty parking lot, making you wonder what he was doing as he stopped the car, turning over to you.

“Sh, it’s okay, there was nothing you could’ve done,” He whispered. 

His words almost shocked you more than the meaning of them as you stared at him from the passenger seat, looking him in the eyes. 

You began to cry softly, turning away from him and out the window. You couldn’t bear for him to see you cry, being Aaron and all. But he was right. 

You felt his strong arms pull around your shoulders, it wasn’t awkward this time, but more comforting. 

Your tears stained his button-up as you wept, his arms stroking your back gently. 

You tried to stifle your cries and sniffles, but it was no use. The overwhelming fear that Spencer may never wake up filled your body as you let the emotion take over. 

If you were stronger, you might scold yourself profusely for crying on your boss, but you were weaker than ever. You couldn’t take the trauma of his blood being spread over your fingertips. 

“I’m just so tired, Aaron,” You said through sobs, shutting your eyes tightly.

His cologne hung over your head like a dark cloud, his eyes staring out your window. He didn’t know what to do, but he figured that this would be enough. 

“I just wish he’d wake up,” You whispered under your breath, it was almost inaudible, but he heard it. 

“We all do, Y/N,” He answered, still holding his hands on your back, feeling the softness of your hoodie and smelling the almond vanilla shampoo that you’d put in your hair. 

You slowly put your arms around his neck, clasping both of your hands together on his back loosely. 

He was like the support pillar that you needed right now. Aaron Hotchner. The last person you’d expect. 

You sniffled and pulled away from him slowly, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your shirt. 

“I’m sorry, that was so unprofessional-” You began to say, but you were cut off by the feeling of Hotch’s lips pressed lightly against yours. 

His hands were pressed against the side of your face, holding you closer to him.

Your eyebrows shot up, but you closed your eyes, kissing him back. 

He was warm, he was strong, he made you feel safe. 

After a moment, you came to your senses. He was your boss, but more importantly, he was Aaron Hotchner. How would you explain this to Emily if she found out? Even better, how would you explain this to J? 

Your eyes widened, and you pushed him off of you. 

“What the hell, Hotch?!” You exclaimed, your voice high and surprised. 

He stared at you for a moment, dumbfounded, not fully comprehending what just happened. 

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking, and you just looked so…,” He began to explain, but you shook your head.

“I looked pathetic? In need of a one night stand?” You answered angrily, watching his face grow darker and his eyes sadder. You’d hurt him. This was probably his first kiss after his ex-wife. Shit

There was a moment of silence between the two of you before you spoke again. 

“Look…,” You sighed, “I just… wasn’t expecting that. I don’t feel that way about you, I’m sorry,” 

He shook his head understandingly, turning the keys back in the car and pushing his foot to the gas. 

Though he pretended to be fine, his eyebrows were furrowed on his head, and he didn't look at you. Not once. 

‘Shit,’ You thought, looking away from him and rubbing your temples.   
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! <33 xoxo ellie 
> 
> i love u all so much, i rlly appreciate all of the comments and support! :)


	7. "You Take Your Coffee Just Like His"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh oh spaghetti-o, guess who's back with another LONG AWAITED chapter??? me! i apologize for the wait, i've been rlly busy lately with school. BUTTT a bit goes on in this chapter so ig ur just gonna have to read!

You’ve been smothered with doctors and nurses ever since you’d arrived back at the hospital with Hotch. 

He hadn’t spoken a word to you, but could you blame him? 

On top of Spencer still taking his sweet time in the hospital and Aaron’s lingering around you like a sad puppy? You were more drained than ever. 

All you got were sorry glances and stares from across the waiting room, putting even more stress on your shoulders. 

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore so you got up, excusing yourself to get a much-needed coffee. 

You stepped through the doors and walked across the shiny tile, making a left at the sign that pointed to the cafeteria. 

You’d pretty much mastered the layout of the hospital, always noting the exits just in case of an emergency. Old habit. 

You grabbed a small styrofoam cup and held it up to the dispenser, pausing and looking around you at the empty cafeteria. 

All that lingered were nurses in blue scrubs that were sitting and chatting over plastic containers of chocolate pudding.

You shook your head and watched as the black liquid consumed your cup, the bittersweet scent filling your senses as you poured a sugar packet into the coffee. 

You watched the creamer swirl around and change the color to a beige, smiling a little when you were happy with the amount. 

Finally, something good in your life. Caffeine never lets you down.

“You take your coffee just like his, you know,” A voice said slowly from behind you, making you jump as you scrambled to put a lid on your cup.

You whirled around to see Aaron standing a few feet away from you, his eyes filled with amusement at the sight of you being so startled.

‘Great,’ You thought to yourself, taking a deep breath as he took a step closer to you.

You’d been wanting to talk about whatever happened for hours, but now that you were about to face him, your mind came up blank. 

You weren’t prepared for the kiss that he’d given you, and you sure as hell weren’t prepared for a real conversation with him after. It felt more like a bad dream than reality. 

“Oh, it’s you…,” You said, shifting your position at the counter a little before pulling at your hair unconsciously. 

“Look… I’m sorry about earlier. It was terrible timing and-” He began to explain, but you jumped in before he could ramble on about anything else.

“I understand,” You replied automatically, hoping that he would take the hint that you weren’t up for talking about it. 

You awkwardly fidgeted with the coffee in your hand, quickly taking a sip before sitting down at the nearest grey picnic table. 

He was silent for a moment as he moved to sit next to you, at a comfortable distance from where you were. 

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, I just… it’s not something I’ve even considered,” You said, looking down at the hole in the lid, watching the steam rise out of it and disappear before it could reach your face.

You felt the silence thickening between the two of you, but when you turned your head to look at him, his mouth was ready to speak. 

“What haven’t you considered?” He asked, his eyes studied yours curiously, searching for answers to his many questions. 

You swallowed, looking around you to avoid his gaze, focusing on the rumbling of ice machines that were placed strategically around the room. 

“You. Us,” You sighed, “Hotch… you’re my boss, my friend. But…,” You searched for the right words, but nothing came to mind. 

Your eyes met his again and you watched his brows furrowed in thought. His expression was unreadable, but it was neutral. 

“But you don’t see us together. I know,” He looked down, biting his lower lip and staring at his hands that were clasped loosely together on his knees.

You reached for his hand, feeling him ease into your touch.

You felt terrible. 

You bit your lip, guilt-ridden, and you gave his thumb a little squeeze, hoping to ease some of the pain that was radiating off of him. 

“I’m sorry,” You said sincerely, looking at his eyes that were turned away from you.

It was dead silent, and you searched his face for clarity, hoping that your words were enough.

You watched as he quietly played around with the light spot indented around his ring finger from where his wedding ring had been for so long. 

You’d noticed him take it off a few weeks ago at work, but you said nothing. 

You thought about how long it must have been sitting there, the gold shining around his knuckle. 

It must have been hard removing it and feeling all of the memories flood back.

And here he was, brave enough to take a chance at love again. He just had the wrong girl.

The thought made you want to cry, but you were strong enough to not let anything slip out of your head. 

“Me too,” He smiled softly, giving you one last look before walking away, leaving you alone at the table.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You tapped your shoe on the floor of the waiting room, watching the reflections of rushing people glide past your vision through the white tiles on the floor. 

The rest of the team did the same, some blankly staring at the green and red hummingbirds on the TV screen.

It’s been a long past few days for all of you, and at the rate this was going, it was going to be a while more. 

“So, anyone want a swiss roll?” Penelope asked, reaching for her bright pink bag that was covered in neon flowers and glitter. 

You looked up, watching as she waved the package around the room, grabbing the attention of Emily and Morgan as well. 

“Honestly, babygirl, what can’t my goddess woman do?” Morgan said happily, reaching over and receiving his roll. 

“Hm, is that a rhetorical question?” Garcia replied, winking at Derek before tossing Emily and you the snack into your open hands. 

You ripped off the plastic, throwing it into the nearest bin and picking the roll off of the cardboard-like plate that held up the roll from its plastic paradise. 

You shoved it into your mouth quickly, wiping any chocolate off of your face before swallowing your bite swiftly.

Everyone stared at you in awe as you scraped some of the leftover chocolate off of the cardboard, eating it off of your fingernail. 

When you looked up from your snack, your eyes met your team members.  
“What?” You asked, tossing the cardboard into the trash like a basketball, making a perfect basket. 

“How’d you eat that so fast?” Emily asked, shaking her head and looking around at the astonishment of everyone around you. 

This was the most exciting thing any of them had seen in a few days. 

The hospital could be pretty boring. 

“Yeah, darlin’, I haven’t seen anything like that since those girls at the bar, eh, Dave?” Morgan said, receiving a small hit from David.

“Quiet all of you. Can I hold no mystery?” You answered all of their inquiries, laughing and swatting your hands up at all of them so they’d give you some room. 

“Well, you could try, but my magic always finds out sooner or later,” Garcia said, her smile making her light pink lipstick seem even brighter. 

That got a laugh out of Morgan, and he turned to look at me. 

“Yeah, babygirl, I bet it’s from all of those dates you’ve been on. You gotta eat the food quick if you wanna get home in time for work in the morning, you know what I’m saying?” He said, causing rumbling laughter to erupt out of you. 

Hotch raised his eyebrows in surprise, a small smirk on his face as everyone began to laugh with you.

“Do I look like the dating type, Derek?” You asked, catching your breath and smiling at him cheekily. 

“Honestly, if I saw you in a bar, I’d buy you a drink,” He said, making you laugh in surprise.

You didn’t respond and just shook your head, looking over at Hotch who was containing his laughter from across the room.   
He gave you a knowing smile, and you saw him walk up to the nurse and ask for any news. 

Relieved, you turned away from him while he talked to the woman, listening to bits and pieces of conversations that the team was having while you sat in silence.

You uncomfortably shifted in your chair, looking back over your shoulder to Aaron who was walking back over to you. You saw a look that you knew all too well.

“He’s awake,” Hotch said, making the whole room go quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE U LIKED IT!! <333 i kindly and humbly request ur kudos or comments, and i thank you for reading! :))) blessed be!


	8. "His Laugh, His Eyes. Oh, Lord."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heyyy! so here i am again. spencer is awake, yay!! this is basically just a calm chapter, i think imma leave the angst alone for a few chapters, but you never know. i could pull a surprise attack and make all of you angry <333 love ya!!

You breathed gently against the doorframe to Spencer’s hospital room, your eyes closed, not ready to step inside. 

The team decided that you should be the first to go and see him, and you didn’t fight them on that.

There was nothing you’d love more than to go in there and talk to him, see his smile.

But you knew that things would be different. You knew they were different already just from the way you were breathing. 

What if he blamed you for everything? What if he had the same thoughts that you did when he first arrived? 

‘No, he wouldn’t,’ You thought to yourself reassuringly. 

You took a deep breath before walking into the room, looking at Spencer who was smiling with glee from his hospital bed, his eyes still barely cracked from sleep.

The moment that he saw you, his eyes had lit up. He wanted you to be the first one in the room, but he hadn't told anyone that. He supposed that they all just... knew. 

All of your guilt had slowly washed away as you noticed the look in his eyes that mirrored yours. He had that effect on you. You would normally be bothered by it, but you couldn't help yourself. You were just so happy to see him. 

“Spencer!” You exclaimed, rushing over to him and giving him the biggest hug that you’d ever given before in your life. 

You were close enough to hear his heart beating gently, and you could feel his chest rise and fall against yours as his lungs expanded inside of him.

“Easy, easy,” He said, laughing a little.

You only then realized that you were practically squeezing the poor kid in half, so you dropped your arms loosely and gave him a sorry look.

“Well, you sure took your sweet time on recovering. You nearly gave us all a heart attack,” You joked, relieved when he laughed back. 

It was almost surreal seeing him laugh again, and he looked more alive than ever. 

You studied him for a moment in peaceful silence, sitting beside him on his bed. 

“What?” He questioned after a moment, causing you to snap out of your hypnotic state. 

“Nothing, it’s just you’re… you again,” You said, smiling and feeling his hand reach to yours gently. 

It wasn’t so much as a romantic notion, but more of a way of reassuring you that he was really there. 

His hair was brushed away in light curls on top of his head, no product holding them back. It was sweet. 

He held a goofy smile on his face, and you were suddenly shot. At a complete loss for words. 

It was nice to see him like this, instead of the lifeless vegetable that you faced every day.

This was going better than you had anticipated, and you were grateful for every second of it. 

He didn’t resent you at all like you'd planned out in your head, and it was like your whole world started spinning again. 

Everything picked up where you left off. It was like nothing had happened at all.

The whole domestic feeling of it all nearly made you sick, but you ignored your sarcastic comments for now. 

“So… how have you been holding up, Sleeping Beauty?” You asked, scooting closer to him and crossing your legs on his bed, facing him.

He sat up and grunted, sighing, getting a smile out of you.

He acted like an old man, complaining about the uncomfortable hospital bed and explaining that it would only cost 140,000 to replace all of the beds in the hospital, making you laugh.

“But, considering I’ve been in a coma for 4 days, I’m doing well,” He concluded, and you nodded back. 

Just then, Garcia came in through the door, holding a large vase of brightly colored daisies. 

“How are you doing, kiddo?” She asked, rushing over to give him a big squeeze, her smile making the room seem brighter like the flowers. 

“Uh, better than you’d think,” Spencer replied, shining his brightest smile back, making butterflies appear in your stomach. 

You didn’t know how he seemed to do that to you, but he could make you nervous like that. You labeled it as part of his weird charm. 

"You know, comas are different than how I expected when I read about them. You learn things you never knew before," He looked at you with a weird look on his face, but you ignored it and kept complimenting Garcia's bumblebee theme today. 

You loved how her brightly colored outfits reflected her personality. They were bold and confident and everything that she was. You really admired her. 

Garcia went on explaining that if he ever needed anything, that he should send for her. She also gave him her last box of cracker jacks as a parting gift before leaving the room, leaving both you and Spencer in giggles. 

You turned away from the door and watched Spencer rip off the cardboard gently, tossing it into the bin beside his bed.

“Cracker Jack?” He asked, popping one of the small caramelized pieces into his mouth and passing you a few. 

“Sure,” You replied, tilting your head back and dropping the morsels back onto your tongue.

The sweet taste in your mouth left you smiling with glee as you begged him for more. You'd forgotten how good those were. 

“Hey, don’t make me send for Garcia,” He joked, making you flip your hands up in the air in surrender. 

“Fine, fine, but only because you’re the one in the hospital bed, Coma Boy,” You answered, shaking your head and reaching over to your bag on the side of his bed. 

You’d taken it out of the box on the nurse's desk, knowing that he’d want it when he woke up. 

As you rustled through your bag, Spencer watched intently as you finally pulled out the silver watch that was Gideon’s. 

“Here,” You smiled, handing it to him and watching him fumble with the clasp.

After a minute, you reached for his wrist and clipped the watch around it.

“Thanks,” He said softly, looking down at the timepiece happily. 

You hadn’t been there whenever Gideon was an agent at the BAU, but you knew that he must’ve been a great man. 

Spencer spoke very highly of him, and you remembered him mentioning playing chess with Agent Gideon a few times, not being able to beat him. 

It amazed you that even Genius Reid couldn’t seem to get past this guy. 

He must’ve really been something. 

“I… Y/N did you… did you mean what you said?” He asked, causing you to furrow your brows in surprise. 

“What did I say?” You questioned, looking at him curiously as his smile faded into a more serious expression. 

He could’ve meant a number of things, and that made you panic a little inside. 

Did he mean what you said in the elevator about being friends? 

Or did he mean your failed promise that he’d be alright when you both escaped, before the accident? 

Worry consumed you as you watched him search for the words to say.

“Am I really the greatest friend you’ve ever had?” He asked, a warm smile flooding his face.

Relief took over your body, and you could feel your shoulders relaxing once more, allowing you to slump back down into the lumpy mattress. 

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” You replied, returning his expression and hearing the clicking of shoes behind you.

You both turned to see Hotch standing in the doorway, a smile curled upon his lips. 

You swallowed hard when he approached you and Reid, putting a hand on Spencer’s shoulder and looking down at both of us. 

“It’s good to have you back, Dr. Reid,” He said, making you sigh under your breath with relief. You didn’t know why, but you’d expected him to say something else. You were glad that he didn’t.

You smiled up at him and nodded knowingly, opening your mouth to say something.

“He means it. You really gave Hotch a run for his money, Spence,” You said, causing laughter to pour out of all of you.

The tension between you and Aaron was clearly gone, and that made your smile even bigger.

The sweet sound of rumbling chatter and mumbling soon filled the room as all of the other agents followed Hotch inside, everyone joking with one another and talking to Spencer. 

It was a moment that everyone needed, especially you. 

Everything was going to be okay.

You didn’t know how long it would last, but you didn’t care. 

Spencer was okay, you were okay. 

Everyone was happy, and that made you feel secure.   
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////  
You were now in the back corner of the room, watching everyone converse with one another. 

The nurses and doctors had flooded in and out on checkups, talking with everyone and explaining everything to them. 

You looked down at the coffee in your hands, focusing on the black liquid that sloshed around whenever you rocked back and forth in your shoes. 

Aaron walked over to you from beside JJ, standing next to you in comfortable silence. 

“I told the nurse you’d be taking him home. It’s just a 72-hour watch, I’ve already given you leave for the week. You need a break, Y/N,” He said, his tone forbidding you from a protest. 

You smiled up at him and nodded, carefully laying your head on his shoulder as you watched the team laugh beside Spencer.

Hotch was your friend, as much as you didn’t want to admit it to one another. It was like an unspoken agreement. 

“Thanks, Aaron,” You said, removing your head and looking up into his eyes. 

They were calm and serene this time, not at all like the storms you’d witnessed in them during work hours. 

It was weird to see him like this, but you honestly didn't mind. 

“Hm, let’s just stick to Hotch,” He said, making you laugh.

You both just nodded and he walked away, leaving you with a calm feeling. You hoped that you would stay that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!! i rlly appreciate all of your support and comments, it rlly makes me smile. ya know, that spencer typa smile. <333 ahh i love you all so much.


	9. "Epiphany"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <333 this one guys. this one.

You held one of your arms around Spencer’s shoulders, unlocking the door to your cozy apartment with your free hand. 

You had been assigned to take care of Genius Boy for the next few days while the rest of the team finishes the case. 

It upset you a little at first, but after watching Spence fall asleep in his hospital room last night, all weak and tired, you knew that he could use the help. 

Besides, you made them promise to call you with any more information that they had, and you planned on checking in on them every few hours. It’ll be like you never left.

Hotch stressed that you should take a break seeing as you’d hardly slept since Spencer entered the ICU, but despite his pleas, your work is your life. 

“Here we are, home sweet home,” You said, setting Spencer down on the couch and allowing him to take a look around at your small, but charming apartment. 

With the curtains pulled back from the old-fashioned windows, there was a great view of the park across the street.

You looked down at Spence from where he was laying, admiring the weird look that he had on his face as sat there awkwardly, his intertwined hands between his legs, fidgeting. 

He looked so small as he stared out your window at the gleaming sunset. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this calm. Well, while he was awake at least. 

The sky flooded with dark oranges and purples as you crashed down on the couch next to him. 

It was weird having him in your apartment, I mean, considering the situation, you didn’t mind. It was just… Spencer was in your apartment. You know what I mean? 

“So, boy wonder, what to do with you…,” You said, smirking and leaning against the soft velvet material of the couch.

You tapped a few fingers on his shoulder so that he’d turn to face you.

He whirled around, and his face flushed a bright pink when he realized how close you were. The look on his face made you smile with glee. You loved making him uncomfortable. 

He cleared his throat before speaking, and you could swear that his voice went up an octave. 

“Um, suppose we watch Star Wars? Did you know that Luke Skywalker was actually supposed to have a blue lightsaber in the movies?” He stopped, looking up to see if he was boring you. 

The last time he tried talking about Star Wars to Morgan, it didn’t exactly go well. Actually, it didn’t go any way at all because Derek ended up in Dave’s office, profiling the poor guy and getting caught in the act. 

You just nodded at him, noting his pause. You’ll be nice, you could always bully him later. 

He smiled at the thought of someone being interested in what he had to say for once, so he carried on as not to keep you waiting. 

“Well, the original color of the lightsaber blended into the sky in the background, so they had to change it from blue to green in order for it to be visible on-screen,” Spencer continued quickly, moving his hands back and forth as he spoke with such excitement on the subject.

Even though you hardly had any idea what he said, (Spencer tended to talk fast), you tried to hang on to bits and pieces as much as you could.

“Reid, I think you’re the only person in the world who knows that,” You answered sarcastically, rolling your eyes.

You realized he was unable to sense the humor in your actions, though, after he stayed silent on the couch with a slightly apologetic expression on his face. 

“That was a joke. You know, for a genius, you think that you’d be able to sense sarcasm,” You said, smiling a little and walking into your kitchen. 

Spencer looked confused when you looked back at him, but when you grabbed a bag of microwave popcorn from your pantry, he got the gesture. 

Before you knew it, he was hopping along behind you into the kitchen, watching you intently as you grabbed a large white bowl from the cabinet and shutting it softly.

You threw the popcorn in the microwave, and you both watched it spin around for a moment, inflating and popping around.

You couldn’t help but think of how domestic this was. Spencer and you, standing together in the kitchen. Just making popcorn. No big deal. 

The thought of it almost made you want to vomit. Even though you might be friends, the thought of him in your apartment still disgusted you. 

Well, not just the thought of him in your apartment. The thought of him in your apartment doing things that old married couples do together, for example, making popcorn for a movie night. 

Oh, wait, that’s exactly what you’re doing. 

You grunted to yourself in frustration, causing Spencer to give you a look that you ignored. He was really clueless sometimes. 

You’d just realized that you and Spencer hadn’t gotten a chance to discuss whatever happened at the hotel. 

Spencer didn’t forget anything, but that was only because of his memory. 

The real question was, why couldn’t you forget about it? 

I mean, after all, did it even matter to him anymore? 

You didn’t know. After all of the shit you’ve been through with him, you’re not sure that he would even care if you brought it up. 

And now, he was in your apartment, and he was standing so close that you could practically feel him breathing on you. 

His body heat radiated off of him and onto you, making prickles trail up your spine. 

It was gross how much he affected you. 

“Did you know that there are four-hundred-sixty kernels of corn in each bag?” Spencer asked, interrupting the silence. 

You shook your head and pulled the bag out of the microwave after the beep went off, carefully avoiding the numbers on the screen as you had been since the accident. 

“That means that two-hundred-thirty of these are mine,” You said sternly, pointing to the bowl and giving him a look.

He just laughed and plopped down on the couch slowly with a sigh. 

He smiled a little and scooted over to the side, making more room for you. 

He groaned when he moved, reaching down to his side where the shot had pierced through his flesh. You grimaced. 

You uneasily sat down next to him with the bowl, placing it in between the two of you so that he wouldn’t have to reach over too far.

Spencer stared at you, watching your every move.

You just ignored him, he’s always weird. 

You grabbed the remote off of your coffee table and flicked the television on, heading to whatever streaming service that had the Star Wars collection.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

After about an hour into the movie, you and Spencer had gotten closer to one another.

The popcorn was already almost gone, and a buttery taste coated the top of your mouth, the satisfaction of salty goodness following suit.

Leia and Han Solo had just done something, but you weren’t really paying attention to the movie anymore.  
You found your eyes wandering to Spencer’s face, watching as he smiled at the television, whispering facts about the scenes to you every now and then. 

You tried to distract yourself by taking another handful of popcorn, but Spencer grabbed your wrist slightly when you did, making you jump. 

You looked up at him, and he eased up his grasp.

His eyes stared deeply into yours, a solemn look upon his face. 

Your heart started beating faster as his eyes traced your features, making you swallow hard.

He honestly wasn’t sure of what he was doing anymore, watching as you pulled your hand back slowly. 

“Oh, um. You already ate two-hundred and thirty-five,” He explained swiftly, moving away from you. 

You looked down at the bowl and then back up at him, cocking your head to the side. 

“I- um, you’ve already eaten your two-hundred-thirty. I let five slide,” He said quietly, placing his hands together and moving his fingers around in a pattern like he had when he first arrived. 

Was he… nervous? You didn’t know that robots could feel anxious. 

Well, you certainly do learn something new every day when you hang out with Spencer Reid. 

“How did you know that?” You pried, scooting yourself closer to him.

He could feel his palms start to sweat, and the smell of your perfume started to overwhelm him into a spiral of nerves. 

“I- I… I counted,” He answered quietly, keeping his head down to avoid eye contact. 

You laughed aloud, pulling your head back and letting out a long cacophony of sounds spill from your mouth. 

Spencer straightened his posture and fought back a smile of his own, biting the inside of his cheek to hide his amusement. 

“What?” He asked after a while, waiting a moment for you to finish catching your breath. His tone was more of a whine than a question.

“You… counted? You literally counted how many pieces of popcorn I ate?” You asked in disbelief.

You were honestly not surprised, but the fact that he had taken you so seriously earlier was hilarious. You had to hold back the laughter that bubbled up inside your throat. 

“Well, yeah. I wanted to see if you were true to your word,” He replied in the most nonchalant voice that he could muster. 

“I- I'm honestly speechless,” You said, throwing yourself back onto the couch and staring up at the wooden beams on your ceiling. 

Spencer lay his head back as well, making sure to keep the distance between both of you. 

“That’s a first…,” He muttered, turning his head away from you and to the windows. 

It was now dark outside, and the only thing illuminating the room was the television that was now on a lower volume.

Lightsabers caused a symphony of flashes across the walls, a deep buzzing sound following their triumph. 

He could barely hear the rumblings of a spacecraft and missiles being fired.

You both sat in comfortable silence, focusing your attention on anything but each other. 

“You’re so weird, Spence… but in a good way,” You finally said, a smile now twitching at the corners of your mouth.

He turned to face you, saying nothing as you both looked into each other’s eyes.

That’s when you both began moving your faces closer together, and you could feel your heart beating faster.

His hazel eyes stared deeply into yours as you took a deep breath, slowly reaching your hand up to his face.

Then, reality hit you.

You hadn’t even had a real discussion with one another since that night, and kissing him would only make this whole thing worse. 

No matter how much you wanted to, you couldn’t do it. To him or yourself. 

At least not until you’ve figured out your feelings for one another. 

I mean, you couldn’t stand him not even a week ago. 

It was all happening so fast as you gently run your fingers through his curls, inhaling the deep scent of lavender that you’d grown to love. 

It took all of the courage in your heart to back away from him and remove your hand. 

“It’s… getting late. We should go to bed,” You said quietly, biting your lip and standing up off the couch. 

He just nodded, rejecting your hand to help him up and slipping behind the door of your guest bedroom as quickly as he could, hiding away from you. 

You sighed and put a hand to your head, not believing whatever you just did to him.  
You climbed into bed carefully that night, knowing that if you moved too quickly, you might break.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

You stared at the ceiling for hours, watching the memories of you and Spencer swirl in your mind. 

You couldn’t sleep, not after that.

His eyes, his everything. You loved it. You loved him. 

The way that he looked at you, how you always argued, all of the trauma that you shared together.

It was a match made in Heaven. 

But you couldn’t tell him. 

No, you shouldn’t tell him. 

You want to.

You want to get out of your bed and walk across the hall and pull him into a deep embrace.

You shouldn’t. 

What would it be like to be in love with Spencer?

What would it be like to wake up next to him every morning?

You want to know. 

But you can’t. Not now. 

Why?

You don’t know. 

Maybe you’re not ready.

You don’t know what you would do if you broke his heart. 

All of these thoughts circled your brain as you attempted to close your eyes, seeing nothing but Spencer’s eyes meeting yours as they did hours before.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Poor boy wonder, his heart had been shattered. 

He thought you were going to kiss him, he truly did.

He’d never had a real kiss before, but he knew if he ever did, he’d want it to be with you.

He’s always felt like this, so you could only imagine how he felt when you came to his room that night, totally intoxicated.

You could’ve picked anyone, but you chose to go to him. 

He remembered the smell of lime rolling off of your tongue as you explained your nightmares to him, the feeling of your small hand on his back, holding onto him and making sure that he didn’t go away. 

It was all so overwhelming as he tossed and turned in the bed, thinking only about you. 

He was hurt. 

But did he have the right to be?

You’d never actually confessed having any feelings for him, but the way that your hands locked into his hair gently was too much for him to handle. 

He didn’t understand. 

He loves you. 

He loves you with his whole heart and soul.

From the very first sarcastic comment, and to the last. 

But he wonders if you love him?

Probably not. 

A beautiful girl like you, fall for him?

You probably were head over heels for Morgan like everyone else. 

I mean, he wouldn't blame you.

He was the ladies' man, tall, dark, handsome.

And he was just a pipe cleaner with eyes.  
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading!! i hope you enjoyed!!! <333 love u all SO much


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